i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
