i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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