i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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