well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Help. Why am I so naked?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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