Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
