ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
