my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
