The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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