Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
