just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I love you. Go after that dick
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
