CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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