what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
