so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
