yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
