I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
