Slut skills are useful in every country.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
