Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
