It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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