I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
