All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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