Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
