garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
