dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
