Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
