this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There r osticjed everywhere
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
