Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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