As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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