I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
