We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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