you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
