Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
