Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize