i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I touched a dick in church today
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
