I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
