For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
