Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize