It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
