you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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