Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
