have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
please don't ironically join a cult
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