Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
