Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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