I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
