her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
