I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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