Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
