She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just high enough for therapy.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
