i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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