ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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