the day after is always just damage control
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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