I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You have to summon your inner elephant
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
