Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
