You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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