so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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