I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
